Mark, a software engineer in his early fifties, had always been a problem solver. But nothing could have prepared him for the complexities of caring for his wife, Emily, after her sudden diagnosis with multiple sclerosis. Balancing his demanding job with Emily’s escalating needs left him feeling overwhelmed and emotionally drained.

As a care manager, I’ve heard family caregivers like Mark describe their own feelings and hardships as an afterthought. It’s a reality for so many husbands, wives, and adult children of parents with a degenerative condition: trying to find the time and energy to process how they’re feeling while providing care to their loved ones.

I recommended, during one of my visits to check in with Emily, that Mark may want to consider a support group. In his case, a virtual support group felt like the best fit 一 one that allowed him to be home but also available for Emily. His employer was very supportive and allowed him to work from home and flex his hours as he cared for Emily’s needs.

One afternoon, during a virtual support group meeting for caregivers, Mark shared his struggles. He described the emotional rollercoaster of watching Emily’s health decline, the challenges of managing her medication and appointments, and the constant worry about the future.

A fellow caregiver named Susan listened intently. She recognized the exhaustion and frustration in Mark’s voice. After the meeting, she reached out to him privately.

“Mark,” she said, “I went through a similar experience with my husband a few years ago. It was the toughest thing I’ve ever faced. But I found a book that helped me immensely.” She sent him a link to a book called Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy. “For me, this wasn’t just a guidebook,” Susan explained. “It was more like a lifeline. The author truly understands what we’re going through. She breaks down the stages of caregiving and offers practical advice and emotional support.”

Mark was hesitant at first, trying to figure out how to fit another thing into his day, but Susan’s words resonated with him. He ordered the book online and was surprised at how eagerly he awaited its arrival. As he delved into the pages, he felt a wave of relief wash over him. The words spoke directly to his experience, validating his emotions and offering practical solutions for the challenges he faced.

The book became Mark’s constant companion. He highlighted passages, took notes, and found solace in the stories of other caregivers. With each chapter, he gained confidence in his ability to navigate the uncharted waters of caregiving.

He learned to set realistic expectations, communicate more effectively with Emily’s doctors, and create a sustainable care plan. He discovered the importance of self-care, taking time for his own physical and emotional well-being.

Passages in Caregiving transformed Mark’s experience from one of chaos to one of confidence. He realized he wasn’t alone in his journey and that with the right tools and support, he could face the challenges of caregiving with resilience and grace.


Gail Sheehy is renowned for her work surrounding life transitions, delving into the complexities and challenges of caregiving. Drawing from personal experience and extensive research, Passages in Caregiving: Turning Chaos into Confidence guides readers through the emotional and practical aspects of caring for loved ones.

The book outlines nine crucial stages of caregiving, offering insights and strategies for navigating each phase. Sheehy addresses common concerns such as communicating with doctors, managing finances, and finding support networks. She emphasizes the importance of self-care for caregivers, recognizing that their well-being is essential for providing effective care.

With empathy and intelligence, Sheehy empowers caregivers to transform the chaos of caregiving into confidence. She provides practical advice, emotional support, and a wealth of resources to help readers navigate this challenging yet rewarding journey.

At Growing Options and Guided Options, we work with clients and families who are going through life transitions. The process is difficult, stressful, and often overwhelming. Our goal is to support caregivers and clients to manage the transition in a way that provides the highest quality of life for both our clients and their loved ones who are providing caregiving assistance. It is impossible to do it all alone! Working with our teams means that you have decades of experience walking with you.